Night consists of the constant sound of a slow heartbeat and noise. Cars wiz past in the near distance, and people show from the sidewalks just below the window. And yet, it all turns so silent to the deafening sound of the mind.
Each thought a narration on complexities and quandaries of life. The moral obligations and discussions, combine with the strange inner conflict of identity and purpose. James Madison wrote, "A man can never judge is how cause" in the federalist papers. Yet, a cause is to be judged and pondered upon. Philosophical debates of all matters rage on--with differing and opposing views in a constant battle of intellectual superiority. How strange, not a moment of isolation can be free of these thought, despite the most desperate attempts at meditation.
The monks have this thing, they cross their legs, with a straight back and hands on their knees and breath. Focus on the breath, after awhile all other thoughts dissipate--an empty mind; true peace. Problem is, a few breaths in the focus on the breath turns into a focus on the reasons of even breathing like this in the first place. Maybe meditation isn't it? Certainly doesn't work for some. Just another answer to a still being developed question.
A few people wrote on the pointlessness of daily life and interactions. Life is meaningless, or at the very least, is of no real importance. Another group would agree, but add that emotions were part of the experience of this meaningless existence. Then some would come along and reject it all as bullshit and rebuild another differing view of which a few more subscribed to whole a few more denounced. So, maybe the first of these groups was right?
Inner dialogue is unheard anyone not outside of the mind, that is unless it's narrated. But narration of inner thought can be a dangerous affair which surly many have paid the ultimate sacrifice for. A similar pointless fight like those in a cause for another bit of philosophical banter. A groups bullshit is a others daily bread. Full circle, or something like that. Maybe best to say it's a circle-jerk into a cup--nobody really knows who's is who's, but nobody is even asking the question because frankly, it's fucking discussing.
Reality is harsh and without definition, leaving people to ascribe some purpose or understanding of it. People building the blocks of civilisation knew this, or at least thought of it the moment they felt safe enough for their minds to wonder. The mind wonders when the beast is not ripping the flesh off the back, that's what the idea probably was. Free thought and exploration begins definition of beast and beast with a cause, and one that cannot be judged by the beast, apparently.
It is all very tiring, it is all too strange, yet still a thought--another little bit of ejaculate into the cup. Fascinating, zero sleep in three days.